Golden Girls

Greetings Syrenauts!

So I featured for Marc Maron for some shows this past weekend and it was awesome.  The crowds at the Ice House were amazing.  It was really great to kill it in front of a friend I really respect a lot.  I was a bit nervous.  You know how it goes.  I was doing almost all new material.  Melanie Vesey and Ela Darling came out and reassured me I’m blooming like a lovely flower.  I was kind of riding high.  Still trying to figure out what to do with all that energy when its over.  I came home and didn’t really know what to do with myself.  It can be kind of a lonely feeling, to have all that buzzing in your brain and no way to really express it. 

I had some really great guests on this week for the podcast too.  I interviewed Star Nine, who I did some content with, because I’m getting back into making fun stuff again…

If you want to see that, you can go here:

I also interviewed Becca Brown.  Becca was someone that I was thinking of having feature when me and Alia Janine were touring the Midwest.  It didn’t work out in time but she lives in LA now…She saw me at the Maron show and hit me up to say I had a great set, so I invited her over.  She’s adorable and a lot of fun. 

You can catch the interview when it goes up in a couple weeks here:

Remember to download, subscribe, and please, please, please, leave a five star review.  It really helps the show. 

I also have Siouxsie Q James on the show this week!  We talk about SESTA and FOSTA.  There’s a war on pornography going on, and the war on sex workers is continuing.  This legislation is really going to negatively impact those that trade sex and push them underground.  Please call your senators and let them know this legislation is bad, bad, bad. 

I gave two guest lectures at USC this week as well.  The students were really receptive to my message about ending sex and sex work stigma.  The children really are our future.  Support them!!!!

I have shows coming up at the end of the month and in April.  You can find upcoming shows here:

I’m also doing a story for RISK! on St. Patrick’s Day.  You should come and check it out.  It’s not a funny story, more serious, but I think it’s important. 

That’s about it. 

The round up for the week:

Things I’ve been into:

Watching Golden Girls on HULU.  Get into it. 

I watched Gad Elmaleh’s new special on Netflix.  He has some great stuff about American healthcare…

Lee Field’s and The Expression’s song Time is getting me through, too. 






Greetings Syrenauts! I’m a little anxious today.  I’m featuring for Marc Maron tonight at the Icehouse in Pasadena for two shows.  I’ve been featuring for six months or so now and I’ve opened for him before, but I look up to him and always want to do well.  When I build a show up in my head like that, it can really get me in a holding pattern of anxiety. 

I’ve been trying to get out more.  I went to the Alameda swapmeet and got henna tattoos on my feet for a video I wanted to make.  I’ve been getting into my I’m on my art shit again, making fun erotic stuff.  I was talking to Ela Darling about the idea of separating yourself from your porn identity.  The feeling that you have to when you move on.  I’ve been finding more recently that I don’t want to do that, I’m still the same girl that started making provocative art because I wanted to challenge things and show that you can be smart and sexual at the same time.  Only Fans has kind of reawakened that girl.  I’m in control of what I put there and I’ve been having fun making things for it.  I was languishing trying to lop off that part of myself to be more respected as a writer or comedian.  Fuck it.  I just have to be who I am.

And yeah, I can make a sex tape one day and feature for Maron the next.  Fuck it.  So if you want that artsy fun stuff, you can join me over there.  I know a lot of you aren’t comfortable consuming that part of what I do, and that’s totally fine with me. 

Of course you can always support the   My mom finally supports!! Ha! 

I’m working on the new live streaming feature on Patreon, but I have to download encoders and work it all out.  I’m aiming to do weekly hangouts on Patreon by next Friday.  I’m going to be using for the bookclub, because there are fewer of you participating.  With Zoom we can all use our webcams at once to see and talk to each other.  I posted some questions for thinking about.  I think I’ll aim for somewhere around St. Patrick’s Day for the book club meeting. 




My podcast guests had to be shifted around because of their promotional schedules.  Upcoming is Ela Darling, Dana Vespoli.  I’m getting a lighting kit and stuff to video the podcasts this week so I’ll have some beta episodes doing that.  If you’re local to LA and are interested in interning enough to help video the talks and maintain the youtube channel so I don’t have to read through the comments, hit me up!  Moderating the channel is something you could do remotely as well.




Had really great shows in Fresno.  That burgeoning scene really makes my heart happy.  Do what you can to support those kids over there on Facebook.  Hit up their shows if you’re in the Central Valley.  My New Zealand bit did really well there, and my new NBA material.  I have to decide if I’m going to pull them out tonight with Maron’s crowd or not…not sure if they’re ready, but then stage is where you get them ready.  I’ll run through it four or five times in my living room today before I head out.  Takes some of the spontaneity out of the process, but whelp!




I shot with Rae Threat and Alejandra Guerrera this week.  I’ll share shots as soon as I get them.  I wanted to get some new promotional photos and to just make some fucking art.  I’m back in a really creative space right now, remembering who I was when I started modeling and writing publicly as Sovereign Syre back in 2009.  I guess rounding up on a decade is a time for reflection and rejuvenation.


Allan Amato’s new book Seraph is out now, and features portraits of yours truly…or well, he has my copy….so if it’s not out, its available for pre0rder.  Go support the arts!!!!




RIP Barry Crimmins


Barry Crimmins was a spectacular human being and humanitarian.  He passed away this week.  Go watch the documentary about his life Call Me Lucky and listen to his interviews on WTF with Marc Maron.




Things I’m into this week:

·        Daniel Caesar: Japanese Denim

·        Londrelle: Dear Jasmine

·        Jorja Smith: Let Me Down

·        Melanie De Biasio: Afro Blue





Body To Job



Greetings Syrenauts!  Welcome to week two of me actually being done with my novel and being productive on other pursuits.  I’m in a spectacularly good mood lately.  I can’t find enough to do!  I’ve been reading through the first draft of my novel.  Normally, this would be daunting, but it’s been going well.  I do see how much needs to be changed, but I’m impressed with the prose I did capture.  I was writing with more poetry and care than I remembered.  I’m not really focusing on what needs to be build out in the front, what needs to be rearranged.  I’m trying to zen with it, and just see where the real compelling parts of the narrative are.  It’s like peeling an onion, I start to feel the burning as I cut deeper into the story. 

It’s a good feeling to surprise yourself with your skill rather than your deficiency.  It’s frankly out of character for me, but I’m welcoming it.  I feel more relaxed about everything, now that the first serviceable draft is down on paper, some of the panicked urgency has died away, allowing me to have some clarity about what I’m doing, to slow down a bit, and attend to the things I’d left simmering on the back burner. 



This week on OBSERVATIONS I’m having Conner Habib back on the podcast to talk about just about everything.  We’ve been spending a lot of time together writing, talking about porn, the #MeToo movement, and how sex workers and porn have come back under attack in recent weeks, with a piece in the New York Times detailing how streaming porn has ruined the sexual lives of teenage boys.  We both have a lot to say about the age old war on porn.  If you have any questions for Conner or me, please tweet at me or write me at

Future guests coming on the show: Dana Vespoli, Sean Baker and Patrick Brice. 

The podcast is now hosted by LibSyn, but will still be updating to SoundCloud.  If you’re subscribed on iTunes, you’re still subscribed.  If you enjoy the podcast, please rate it five stars and take a moment to write a review, it really helps, and please SUBSCRIBE and DOWNLOAD the episodes. The more downloads, the closer I am to being able to get advertisers, which would help immensely toward covering my costs and enabling me to fund the bigger projects I’m looking forward too. 

Video for the podcast should be up and going by March!!! I’m setting up a little corner of my living room into a pop up studio so you guys can watch the interviews on YouTube. 

I’ve been looking for an intern locally here, to pan the camera from me to my guest during interviews, to upload the vids to YouTube and to manage the comments so I don’t have to read through the garbage to get to the gold.  If you’re local to LA and interested, it’s only a couple hours of work a week.  It’s unpaid at this time, but I’ll teach you brand management and help you network with my guests and give you glowing recommendations when you apply for your next gig! 



The Patreon!!!  If you’re not already supporting the Patreon, please consider giving even as little as a dollar a month.  If 1/12th of my Twitter followers gave a dollar a month, I would have all the funds needed to do everything I want to do!!!

The book of the month is Danny Wylde’s Body to Job.  I’m going to post up some discussion topics on the Patreon to think about while you’re reading.  Since the book is short, I’m also going to do Howard Zin’s A People’s History of the United States the second half of March and all of April.  It’s a bit longer, but relevant to what’s going all around us today.  I’m gonna keep y’all reading!!!! We can do this together and make the world a little more thoughtful of a place. 

I’m trying to get Google Hangouts sorted this week so that starting in March we can have weekly live hangouts for the 10 dollar a month patrons. 

I’m here for you! 



Stuff I’ve been into this week:

·        I’m in love with a new young artist named Yebba.  Check out this live performance:

·        DeRay Davis’s new special on Netflix is pretty great.  Plus he’s in a polyamorous relationship, which makes him more interesting. 

·        Anna Deveare Smith has done a new one woman show on the school to prison pipeline.  It’s called Notes from the Field.  It debuted last night on HBO.  I saw her live a last week and was blown away by her.  Watch the trailer here:

·        Link to Howard Zin’s book:

·        As always, check out upcoming shows:

·        I’m also updating my OnlyFans again.  Part of a performance art project.  My private collection of tapes 3x a week.





Wild Animal

OBSRVTNS: February 18th, 2018



Greetings Syrenauts! 


It’s been awhile!  I was going through a bit of a comedy slump, but more importantly I was finishing the first draft of my novel.  That meant book club, and all my other loftly plans for the Patreon fell to the wayside.   I’m happy to report…THE FIRST DRAFT OF THE NOVEL IS DONE!

That’s right, bitches.  I finished my first draft of my first novel.  I had been toiling on and on, when Conner Habib pointed out I’d written three novels and was on my way to the fourth when the first was already finished for a while now.  A few months ago.  So the book is done.  Now I have to go through and begin the first series of rewrites, revisions, line edits, and all the other stuff that goes into getting a manuscript as perfect as possible.  I’m committed to this journey, no matter how long it takes.  Even it is another year before it’s ready to be sent off to an agent and shopped around town. 

In the meantime, the heavy lifted of writing the damn thing is done, which means I can spend a couple hours a day working on the edits; but have my fucking mind back! 

I’m going to finally have time for the book club and to rearrange my living room and get video equipment so I can put the podcast up on youtube.  I’m going to have time to read for the book club.  I’m going to have the time and energy to write this newsletter, and I have the space to write stand up.  I’ve written ten minutes of new material this week. 

I turned the valve, and it all came rushing out. 



Speaking of stand up.  I headlined for two days in Fresno with my friend Dustin David.  Dave Apkarian, a bear of a man and goodhearted as heck, hosted us at his place.  I love visiting home, seeing how much it’s changed and how much it is the same.  I got to visit my dad and introduce him to Dustin.  I’m cagey about letting people that far in, but Dustin is a good friend and it felt nice to let someone see something I’m so protective of.  I grew up pretty poor and I still feel embarrassment from time to time about letting people see where I came from. 

I realized this weekend that I still carry around some of that shame.  It’s why when I’m at friend’s houses that are better off than me, I still fear that I’m letting my poor get all over everything.  I know rationally this doesn’t make much sense, but my brain tends to be wire backwards, as Melanie Vesey says. 

I’m going to be in Fresno again this Friday, and I’m performing two spots in Los Angeles. 

I also went to the taping of Melanie Vesey’s comedy special Wild Animal.  She has an incredible story.  You can find her episode of the podcast on or on iTunes or on

You can find the latest podcast with Dustin David and Dave Apkarian there too. 

For my upcoming shows you can go here:



Speaking of the podcast and patreon; I’ve moved the podcast from SoundCloud to Libsyn.  The old episodes will stay on at soundlcoud, but new episodes will be uploaded to libsyn.  If you’re subscribed on iTunes, Libsyn automatically switched you over to the new feed.  If not, you can always stream the podcast from my site:  If you aren’t subscribed on iTunes, please do!!! It really helps to get advertisers, sponsors, etc to have a high subscriber count.  Please download that episodes as well, instead of just playing them.  Advertisers look at downloads not plays.  And of course please rate and review the podcast on iTunes.  You can do it all from your smartphone and it really helps the podcast out!


My guests this past week were Dustin David and Dave Apkarian.  You can find out more about Dustin at his site

If you want to know more about Melanie Vesey and where you can buy her special when it comes out:




Stuff I’ve been into lately:

·         Just discovered Mom on Hulu.  I know it’s all corporate, but it’s incredible.  I’m late to the party, but I didn’t get television until this year. 

·         Marc Maron’s podcast episode with Martha Kelly is really moving.  Martha Kelly plays the best friend/romantic lead in Baskets, a show everyone should be watching.  Here’s some of her standup:

·         And I never get tired of SAD by Kirin J. Callinan:

·         I’ve really been into Roy Orbison and his balletic voice lately.  Here’s some Blue Bayou:






Hello Lane Moore

Greetings Syrenauts!

It’s already December, which is fucking crazy.  I don’t know where the year went…actually I do…it’s gone into my novel.  I’ve been so focused on getting my book done, that days blend into nights blend into weeks blend into months.

I seem to have trouble either doing one thing obsessively or a dozen things half way.  So I met with Conner Habib and we did some financial planning and life coaching stuff and he gathered me together. 

I’m on a schedule for the first time since college! 

I’m working on Twitch, doing live weekly hangouts for Patreon patrons, and I’m back to doing standup after little break, working on a new thirty minutes. 


I’m going to be in NYC December 10th-16th doing standup.  You can check out the new tour dates on my site:

Upcoming Podcast Guests!

Open Mike Eagle

Heather Berg

Sarah Banet

Jon Ronson


This week on the podcast:

I have Lane Moore.  Lane hosts Tinder Live! a monthly show where she logs onto Tinder in front of an audience and lets them help her chat up potential dates in real time.  Lane is also a multi-instrumentalist and the front women of It Was Romance. 

We sit down and talk about social media, dating, and what moments should be public or private.  We also talk about the birth of her band and life on tour. 

Check it out:

Music I’m really into right now:

Benjamin Clementine, I Tell  A Fly:

The entire album is powerful, beautiful.  Imagine Tori Amos and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins made an album together and you’d get close.  His voice and his playing are acrobatic.

Kirin J. Callinan, Bravado:

The standout track and video is S.A.D (song about drugs).  I’m obsessed and can’t stop watching.


I’m starting a new feature on the Patreon!  Book of the Month!!  I’m trying to read more.  Writing and my Netflix cue have been getting in the way.  I know some people read a book a day, and they can go fuck themselves.  That would get in the way of me watching the entire series run of The Office for the second time in a row.  Get off my back.  I’ll post about the book on the patreon and we can have a discussion in the comments as we start reading.  At the end of the month we’ll have a live chat about the book! 

This month’s book:

Last Exit To Brooklyn by Hubert Selby, Jr. 

If you want to join the Patreon:


The book is coming along.  I’m almost 2/3rds of the way done.  The book is divided into three parts, though I may actually be writing a novel series or something.  I think each part is novel length sooo…Whatever, it’s my life’s work.  I don’t think I’ll write another novel after this is done.  I might switch over to screenplays or stick to stand up. 

Have a great week, and remember America is almost over. 




The Nature of Consent

Greetings Syrenauts! 

There’s been a lot of revelations about sexual harassment, sexual assault, rape and intimidation in the entertainment industry of the last few weeks.  In the last episode when I was talking to sociologist Ben Carrington, the allegations against Harvey Weinstein were already grim, but hadn’t yet reached the avalanche that we’re at now.  A slew of other powerful men in the entertainment and news industry have been accused, many resigning or being removed, a few even issuing apologies. 

It’s been both satisfying and triggering to read the news of new allegations day after day, tales of women and men living in fear, being forced to compromise their pride and dignity in exchange for their paycheck or the chance at living out their dreams.  What’s been more disturbing for me is the sense of helplessness and hopelessness many of Weinstein’s victims felt.  If they said nothing they were punished, if they did say something they were punished, if they allowed it to happen they were punished, if they ran away they were punished. 

It’s made me sadder to see just how many men really seemed to have no idea just how pervasive and constant this problem has been.  It feels like a hard-won vindication against all the victim blaming and insistence that women are just too sensitive to work in male dominated industries, the #metoo hashtag has forced people to reckon with the damage and suffering that women and to some extent younger gay men have been working through in silence. 

Another thing that has been revealed through all these horrible stories, is the mindset of the predator, as seen through the public apologies that all seem to obfuscate responsibility while deflecting responsibility by revealing some reason for their behavior that mitigates their crime, for Harvey Weinstein, it’s that he’s a sex addict not a rapist, for Kevin Spacey yesterday it wasn’t that he was a pedophile, simply a gay man. 

I dissected his apology on Twitter and want to do so again here, to help construct a portrait of the predator and the narcissism that drives them. 

In a statement Kevin Spacey, who was accused of making a very physically aggressive sexual advance on a 14 year old boy, said that he didn’t remember the events, but if he did he was drunk and regrets his actions, he goes on to reveal that he is a gay man.  He actually spends more time discussing his sexuality than apologizing to his victim.

So here is what I said on Twitter in a thread:

Kevin Spacey making his apology all about him, gives a perfect insight into the narcissistic mindset of a predator.  Victims and their suffering are incidental to the expression of their desires and the exercise of their power.  People are just sources to extract validation from to maintain their sense of control, mirrors to see themselves reflected back as God.  They don’t feel like they exist unless the people around them are in love or afraid of them, and they often conflate the two. 

They don’t care about the pain they cause, not because they lack empathy, but because they feel terrified by their need for validation.  They’re so scared and angry that they have nothing but contempt for other people, especially people that have the capacity for love.  That’s why they prey on those that are trusting.  They despise vulnerable people because they despise their own vulnerability.  They think by snuffing out a vulnerable person, they snuff out their own vulnerability.  But it’s a temporary fix.  One rejection, one frustration, and they need another fix.  That’s why they have to do it over and over again.

The heavy feeling that comes with revelations like this is all the pain that is out there, how helpless people were made to feel, and how the fuck we are going to fix it.  This task is daunting.  How to we prevent more damage, how do we repair the damage that is already done, and how to reconcile all the anguish that was then spread out and on to others. 

My guest this week is Conner Habib, and we set out to discuss exactly what consent means and why we need better language around sex and sexual assault.  Conner is a lifelong sexworker and LGBTQ advocate, a porn performer, former boardmember of APAC, the adult performer advocacy group, a lecturer and a writer.  Conner has some provocative views on consent and his interest in the occult and radical politics allows him to take less conventional approaches to analysis that always blow me away.  He’s an all around thoughtful person. 

Conner has his own webseries, Against Everyone, that you can find on YouTube.  You can follow him on Twitter @ConnerHabib.

If you enjoy the podcast, or my Twitter feed or want to support the standup but can’t make it out to shows.  If you’d like to help me fund a webseries that I’m trying to pull together, or you just want to help fund me finishing my novel, you can support the podcast and all my creative endeavors on my patreon,  If just 1/12th of my Twitter followers offered a dollar a month in support I’d be able to reach all of the financial goals to manifest all the projects I want to get done.  Special shout out to Scott Masters, Owen Crabtree, and Christa Walker, long time, very generous supporters of the podcast.  Thank you so much for your continued generosity. 

XOXO Sovvy


Failing in Front of People You Actually Respect


How is everyone?  Good, I hope? 

I’m going through some creative shit lately.  I’ve been writing new material.  It’s headier stuff, but I’ve been writing it out at my laptop, trying to get the language more precise.  From my videos, I’m sure you can tell that my material can be dense.  I’m making it denser.  I’ve been working on something tying together masturbation fantasies with racism, the way our fantasies and fetishization of black men is an expression of our deeper anxieties.  It’s an ambitious thesis so the material needs to be strong.  I’m working it out. 

I’ve done the set a few times, and its done well, but then something happened.  I was booked on a show with a comedian I really respect and I psyched myself out.  He’d never seen my standup before and I wanted it to be good, but I also wanted to run my new material.  I ran my new material.  It didn’t go well, the laughs weren’t coming, I was too stiff, I was looking at him the whole time, feeling that I wasn’t doing my best. 

It’s a decision you make as a comic, try new stuff at open mics and save your best shit for booked shows, or run you new shit at booked shows.  I tend to do my strong material at clubs, and for bar shows to let it ride, try out my new shit.  A booked spot I get more time, an open mic, you’re getting 3-5 minutes, you never get to run your set altogether. 

The good thing about bombing is that I came home and started writing, trying to fix it.  In that sense, I should try bombing more, because it makes me work harder. 


This week on the podcast I have Beowulf Jones!  (  Beowulf is the LA producer for the RISK! Show.  RISK! is a live storytelling show and a podcast.  I’ve done the show three times so far.  If you want to hear those episodes you can check them out here: I gathered all my podcast appearances there, so you can listen to them all if you’re really into me talking.  Beowulf and I talk about the storytelling scene in Los Angeles and about how to turn your life into a compelling story for the stage. 


This week in comedy Aditi Mittal had her one hour special released on Netflix.  It’s called Things They Wouldn’t Let Me Say.  She’s an Indian comic and one of the first female stand ups in India.  It’s really good stuff.  I get tired of stand up specials because the material feels stale.  I’m really in love with the Netflix specials with comics from other countries.  They don’t promote them on the front page, but there are a lot of interesting voices out there.  Get into it.  She’s funny and unexpected. A solid special, dirty, relatable, fun. 

You can watch the trailer here:


I’m going to be running my full hour in San Diego for the Arte Pad ( festival that Ash Hollywood is producing.  I’m not sure which days I’m going to be there yet, I might be at the Laugh Factory on one of the days.  I’ll keep y’all posted.  For my show dates:


I’ve been listenign to Qveen Herby lately.  She’s a singer from the YouTube machine, but she does an amazing cover of Desiigner.  You can watch it here:

Another singer I’m really into right now is Yebba.  She’s super young but already full of a soulfulness that is absolutely haunting.  I just love her.  Check out this performance.  Get your life:


Interesting people to follow on Twitter:



Dr. Ben Carrington, a sociologist and previous guest on the podcast:

Leigh Cowart, for all your science porn needs:

Reggie, ex soldier and anarchist type person:

Black Feminisms, academic blog focused on Black Feminism:

Spenser Wells, anthropologist and geneticist.  He was the explorer in residence for National Geographic and is responsible for filling up that DNA database that uses to tell you how African you are and how Native American you’re not.  He went around the world collecting everyone’s DNA.  He’s also been a guest on the show so check that episode out.


Some good reads this week:

Journal of African and Ethnics Studies: #sayhername a case study of intersectional social media activism.

People Lie But Search Data Tells The Truth:

Author of “Everybody Lies” Seth Stephens-Davidowitz goes in our search histories and what they reveal about the character of the country. 


Word of the week: 

Bombinate: to hum and buzz.  Have fun with that one!


That’s all for this week!


If you love the podcast, enjoy my Twitter, or aren’t able to make it out to my stand up shows to support, please consider becoming a patron.  If 1/12th of my followers on Twitter gave a dollar a month to my Patreon, I would have the funding to do every last thing I want to do. 

You can support here:

If you can’t support financially at the moment you can still support by tweeting about the podcast and the patreon on your social media stuffs, getting your friends into the podcast. 


I love you guys.  Be excellent to each other. 






Greetings Earthlings

Greetings Syrenauts!

How have you all been?  I’ve admitted to myself that I’m a grown up and that the podcast and my standup are only going to become my career when I give them the same energy I would give a job I was doing for someone else.  My listeners ARE paying me now and I want to rise to the occasion, not just for them but for myself.  I’m buckling down and focusing my energy on raising the quality of the podcast, approaching my stand up strategically (going on tour, figuring out how to reach a wider audience, you know, investing in my future with a narrative of success). 

I’m not sure if it’s a me thing, or a woman thing, the impulse to prioritize anything but myself, to regard my dreams as unreachable, but I’m trying something new.  I’m doing something radical (for me), I’m believing in myself, investing my time and energy in my projects with the belief that such an investment will pay off. 

I’m feeling good!

I sat down and mapped out what I wanted to achieve and put my head in the fucking game.  How can I get more listeners?  What do successful podcasts do that I’m not?  If Twitter isn’t effective for marketing, what other things can I do that I haven’t been?  It might seem silly that I never did this before, but I think as a creative I’ve always believed in the “if you build it, they will come” mentality.  I had to get honest with myself, that approach is far too passive. 

So, I came up with a plan, a business plan if you will, a series of new actions I can take to expand my reach and up the quality of my output.  Not surprisingly, I’ve found my mood much better, my anxieties greatly lessened, and a sense of empowerment as I move forward.   


This week’s interview on OBSERVATIONS is with stand up Allen Strickland Williams ! We talk about comedy and social justice, satire, how far is too far, and if such a thing exists.  We talk about Kathy Griffin and her Trump Stunt. 

You can listen on SoundCloud  on iTunes, on Stitcher, on the Laughable app, and of course you can stream from the player on my site:



I just came off of the West Coast leg of my tour with Alia Janine, Alia and Sovereign Do America.  The tour was a learning experience to be sure.  As much as I promoted on Twitter and Facebook and even going on the radio and other podcasts, it was hard to pull in crowds.  We ended in breaking even, which I’m still happy about.  I learned from other producers we met that we should have been reaching out earlier to local arts magazines and blogs, sending fliers to the venues, things I just hadn’t really thought about.  It was heartening though, because I learned there is more you can do than just putting a link on Twitter.  Like I said, I’m buckling down, and taking the business part of my business into my own hands.  We weren’t deterred.  We’re already planning the next leg of the tour, through the South West.  I’ll be posting more info as I go. 


I’m also going to be at the Arte Pad festival at the end of the month working out my hour! 

As always, I have stand up spots through the month.  You can find all my dates and ticketing info on my site:

I’m going to start a new exercise, taping three new minutes of stand up each week in my living room.  I’m going to make these available to my patrons on Patreon ( week before everyone else.  But I’m excited to see how strong it makes me as a stand up.


I’ve also gathered all of my podcast appearances and web series guest spots into one place on my site:



This week in art:  I’ve been working on a joke about masturbation that includes a reference to Jean-Baptiste Belley (  Belley was the first black deputy to take a seat at the Convention in Revolutionary France.  When his portrait was commissioned, there was some controversy over the depiction of his large generative organ.  Over time it’s been written about as an example of the image in the European mind of the black man as a savage, a stud horse full of animalistic sexual appetites.  I’ll post my bit in the future as I work it out. 


The Stand Ups came out on Netflix this week and the Fortune Feimster segment is really great and worth a watch.  Also go back and watch the episode of Chelsey she references in her set.  I’ve also fallen in love with Chelsea Handler all over again.  Go watch the episode where she visits England. 

Jackie Kashian was on Conan and she killed it.  The last show of the tour at Nerdmelt was supposed to feature Marc Maron, but he had to cancel.  Jackie came in last minute and saved the day.  I love her. 

Watch it here:


Also, if you haven’t yet, you should go pick up a copy of Tyler Knight’s memoir about his life in porn.  It’s a top seller on Amazon and a true literary achievement. 



Amazing photographer Allan Amato photographed me for his new coffee table book Seraph.  Order it here:




Finally!  I have a Patreon.  I’m still tinkering around here and there, but there are new rewards, new tiers, a new break down of costs and an accounting of where that support is going.  Please consider pledging!  If 1/12th of my Twitter followers pledged $1.00 a month I would be at the financial goal needed to manifest all of my projects and get them back out to you!!!

If you’re not in the position to pledge a really helpful thing you can do is post on your social media about the Patreon or about the podcast so that it reaches more people.


I’m also adding a new feature to the podcast.  I want your questions!  Ask for life advice, my opinion on politics or social issues.  Anything you like.  I’ll talk about them in the podcast in a new segment I’m adding.  After I was on Not So Nice Advice with Chuck Nice he strongly encouraged me to consider adding such a component to the show. 

If you want to listen to those episodes you can find them listed on my site:


Well, that’s all for this week! 








If It's Not Love, Then It's The Bomb (That Will Bring Us Together)!

It's been a minute since I had something to say here.  I've been in an emotional trough along the sine wave of life.  It happens.  I did a club show in Las Vegas that didn't go well.  Then a show at a weed club in Vegas that didn't go well.  It was a combination of things. 

It was a club gig and I'm used to New York and LA and Seattle.  Vegas crowds are different.  I walked in and knew that none of my material was going to go over well, so instead of doing my "tight five," I just did the five minutes I wanted.  It was a good set by my standards, but the audience didn't laugh as much as they should, so in that way, it was a bad set.  I'm not one to blame an audience though.  I went back to my hotel determined to "fix" the material so that it cold appeal to anyone.  It's a hard line to tow, you want to be as funny as you can to as many people as you can, because you're a comedian, and that's your job.  You also don't want to find yourself doing material you don't believe in. 

I did fix it.  I found the solution to the problem.  I'd go into details here, but I don't want to burn it. 

All the same I walked out thinking, "I should have tried my tight five, as it stands, this club will never book me again." 

That one I sat with.

Then I did a show at a weed club.  It sounds good.  The problem with people that are stoned is that they laugh on the inside, it takes a minute.  My material is a bit too rapid fire.  Not going to blame the audience there either though.  I went home determined to fix this problem too.  And I did.

I want to be as strong as possible, to be able to work under any conditions. 

Still there's nothing quite like bombing.  I knew that it was coming, so I'm glad it's over, but holy shit! It can really do a number on you existentially.  I was bummed for weeks.  I only went up twice in that time, when I normally go up every night.  I was gun shy. 

Last night I did a set at the Comedy Store and it went well, really well.  It was healing.  I woke up this morning and did my pages for my novel, jogged, updated the site, wrote this missive.  It's like Vegas had loosened my plug from the socket and last night someone pushed it back in to the wall. 

So I guess I really am a comic.  I get kind of crazy if I don't do it.



How To Survive (and Enjoy) Other People

Life is with people.  Here are some things I've learned over the years about surviving and enjoying them.  I wrote this back in 2009 and since then it's gone viral a few times and been plagiarized a few more times than that.  I take it to mean that people find it useful, so here it is with a few changes as I've come to learn a few more things.  The original can be found over here (along with interviews I did with Gareth Icke and Matt Berry respectively):

25 Tips and Tricks For Dealing With Other People:

1.  Most people hide their suffering better than you think; you pass dozens of people a day on the street without any idea how well they're wearing their tragedies. 

2.  People's names are the sweetest sounds they hear.  You should make a point of being good at learning and using them.

3.  People love to spread their misery around, but not as much as they enjoy being lifted out of it.

4.  Being young is not in and of itself an achievement.  Neither is being beautiful.  But people often treat you as if they are.

5.  For a lot of people, music is a reflection of who they are and their relationship to life.  Remember that before insulting someone's tastes in music.

6.  The Golden Age never existed.  People are always trying to get back to a time when things were simpler and better.  The world was a far more dangerous place 50 years ago, especially if you were black or a woman or gay or diagnosed with cancer. 

7.  Most people, whatever their choice of profession, feel like complete novices who are about to be found out as frauds and fakers.

8.  Most people love quite helplessly, despite what they would have you believe.

9.  Show me the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'll show you a man who's bored with taking her to bed.  Show me the most devoted husband, and I'll show you a woman who feels that he's just not doing enough.  A lot of people are never satisfied because… 

10.  Most people have no idea what they want out of life, let alone how to get it.  Most others are still waiting for someone to give them permission.

11.  Whatever it is about yourself that you're trying to hide, it's usually the first thing someone else notices about you.

12.  You should call your mother and tell her you love her.  Like most women who decide to marry and have children or help take care of a dying parent, she probably sacrificed a lot of her dreams to be there for you, and she wishes that you appreciated her more for it. 

13.  If you tell a man about your problems, he assumes you want some sort of help or advice.  If you tell a woman about your problems, she assumes you simply want a shoulder to cry on.  Women rarely want to be told what to do about a problem, and men rarely want to be coddled through a hard time. 

14.  Creative people thrive on feedback.  You can never give them enough of it, and you will endear yourselves to them mightily if you do it frequently, thoughtfully, and honestly.  They understand the value of time far better than most think. 

15.  For most people religion is a social commitment more than a spiritual one.

16.  A lot of people who consider themselves intelligent can't properly label all the states on a map, or all the countries in Europe, let alone Africa or the Middle East.  Most couldn't list off the ten commandments, five pillars, or the amendments of the Constitution, and feel that politics are too complicated to understand, but never too complicated to argue about.

17.  It's not all about you.  No really.  Gossip, shaming, cheating and rejection are more often than not, unwitting autobiography.  Nothing wrong with putting down a book you're tired of reading.

18.  For nearly every crazy idea, you can find a fully credentialed scientist who will back it up.

19.  People are more frequently kind and compassionate than they are fooled by our manipulations or lies.

20.  Life often works in reverse.  People treat strangers more politely than their family or friends, and they always value your labor far less than the open market.  You can charge for your services or give them away for free and you can always walk away from diminishing returns.

21.  Everyone has done something they would be desperately embarrassed for anyone else to know about. 

22.  Never joke with a man about his sexual performance, and never joke with a woman about her appearance.  No matter how much they make fun of these things in themselves, never, never do it for them.  They may laugh along with you, but you've just driven a tiny needle into their brain.

23.  Most women get married because they want to have a wedding, most men get married because they are ready to settle down.  People expect a significant other to change their lives and make them happy, without any conception of how this change will take place.  It's sort of like assuming a college degree is going to guarantee you security in life without ever thinking of how this can be practically possible.  This is the "If you build it, they will come" approach to romance, and one out of every two times it ends in divorce.

24.  Most people are worried they're not having as much fun as they should be.  This usually makes men cheat and women nag.   

25.  When you insult or offend someone, always admit it and apologize promptly, even if it wasn't your intention or you had no idea.  It is always better to be a penitent villain than to appear so socially inept as to not recognize when you've hurt the people around you.  An evil genius is someone to bring to your side, a blundering fool is someone to keep as far away from you as possible.


Be safe out there.  Check all your mirrors before you change lanes.  Read the directions twice.  Use a step ladder.  Bend at the knees when you lift.  Throw out expired food.  Don't text and drive.  Don't take selfies near ledges or water's edges.  Slow down in inclement weather.  Wear a condom.  Get a AAA card.

Happy New Year!



It Did Feel A Little Weird.

I've decided to take a less formal approach to this blog this week.  I'm going to make it a bit more like what blogs were supposed to be for way back in the day, which was before my day, but lets call it a day.  It'll just be a collection of things I found interesting this week.  But first, some me stuff:

If you listen to the podcast you know that I talked to my biological father for the first time in 15 years.  To mark the moment I recorded him on the podcast after we ate Thanksgiving dinner.  I did it this way because I wanted to give us a bounded space within which to process our feelings, so that our baggage didn't crowd the entire holiday.  I think it went well.  He cried.  I cried.  I got to ask a lot of questions.  Some people told me I went to easy on him, but the thing is, I know that his excuses for abandoning are flawed and I could have gone after him for it, but that wasn't really the point.  I've worked through the anger and despair parts of it and now I wanted a healing.  For a long time I didn't talk to my dad because I wanted to punish him, he abandoned me, so why should I reward him with a relationship now...but I changed my mind.  He may not deserve a daughter, but I deserve to have a relationship with my natural father. 

It did feel a little weird.  Having an adoptive father that I've very loyal too, I didn't know how to talk about him to my father.  I just started saying "my other dad."  That seemed to work ok.  I'm going back to spend Christmas with him and my other mom, so I'll keep you posted.  My mom also listened to the podcast, which I wasn't expecting.  I would have been more diplomatic in discussing our relationship if I'd known she was going to listen to it.  She actually approved.  I'll have her on soon. 

In other news.  I've been listening to a lot of conservative rhetoric lately.  I'm less concerned with sympathizing with the "other side" than I am just entertained at listening to conservatives try to be funny.  Anne Coulter can actually be funny, and Milo can too, but some of the humor labors under broad generalizations that aren't true enough to warrant a laugh.  Most of Milo's jokes are about how feminists are fat lesbians, but I've worked as a model and a porn star for seven years and most of the women I work with consider themselves feminists and most of them are super hot and attracted to men, so, I just don't think the jokes are funny.  Moving on.  Here's fun stuff from around the web:

Milo on Joe Rogan

Interview with my dad.

The oldest bridge in Manhattan

The history of the Tampon.

Adam Curtis's HyperNormalisation (how Trump and cyberspace won)

This week on OBSERVATIONS with Sovereign Syre I talk with award winning adult performer and trans activist Venus Lux!  Subscribe on iTunes.  Rate. Review.  It helps!

I'll be in NYC October 10-16.  Check out my show dates: HERE




Brain Fog

My brain has been in a fog.  I've been struggling to feel motivated or passionate about any of the things that normally provide me with enthusiasm.  Normally it's part of the cycle, but this time the lull has felt interminable.  I'm still working.  I'm always working, it's just that the work doesn't feel satisfying. 

I have slight ADD, and any disruption from routine can take weeks or even months to undo.  I'm trying to get back on track but I'm struggling.  My sleep cycle has been fucked up, my time management out the window, which for the writing process is kind of a death knell.  I just have to get motivated to change it.  The things that distract me are so pleasurable, you know?

I have to get disciplined again, and I don't want to.  I feel like I'm flailing, anchorless, untethered.  I know I'll come around but this is the listless part of the process that I hate.  It has to do with transition, with priorities.  With lack of priorities.  With a lack of a plan.  Exhale.  Everything is going to be fine.  It'll come together.  I know it will.  Okay.  I'm gonna go nap.  Naps feel good right now. 

This week on OBSERVATIONS with Sovereign Syre I talk with stand up Tamer Kittan.  We talk about changing your life later in life.  Dad stuff.  Cancer stuff.  The major stuff.  The intro still has a few #electionfeelings, but I'm just about through them. 

I have a patreon now, so support if you wanna support and so on and so forth.