I'm not gonna lie, this last week I did a lot of sitting on my ass and vibrating with my own fear of success shit. Other people call it bingewatching on Netflix. The main thing I've learned is that it takes approximately three hours for me to find fictional characters more interesting than the world around me and about five hours to be more invested in their future than my own. There is some good to it. I was watching American Horror Story and it was good to get out of the world of the two books I'm working on and just fucking enjoy some TV. It is some of the best acting on TV right now, even if the writing is fairly uneven and often predictable.
In it's own way, when you're really living in a project, everything is seen through the filter of that project. I'm always writing my book even when I'm not, so as I watch an episode I'm studying it, how does this narrative thread work, why does this one fail, etc. That kind of thing. So even distractions aren't really distractions. Today I sat down and again was writing in earnest, even more focused because I knew what not to do. I get mired down in knowing exactly why my characters are doing something, feeling that if it's not very clear why Louis would suddenly feel this way or that way about Marc-Aurelien, well, it all goes to shit. The truth is, it's not that important. I just need to write the scene and let the characters have some fucking serendipity. It's not like most of us know the reason we do half the shit we do.
For me writing becomes very much about restraint. Holding back the muse like she's a rabid dog on a chain, when what I should do is let her run. I'll find her eventually and build a strong fence once I know the full extent of the territory.
Is that enough mixed metaphors for everyone? Cool. The good news is, as I edit the script for the graphic novel, I become more confident in my choices as a writer. Things are good. Not so used to that. It means that things can get boring or a little scary. I haven't done stand up in a week. I just lost the passion for it. But I'm forcing myself back out there. I just have to get in the habit again.
I tend to sit in the house all day working on one thing. I forget the importance of getting outside. The longer I linger inside during the day, the more of a task it seems to go out, and out is where the action is. At least, there aren't any comedy shows or open mics that take place at my house. Everything in LA is a drive and man, sometimes you just want to watch the next season of American Horror Story because Evan Peters is so god damned good at his job.
This week's guest on OBSERVATIONS with Sovereign Syre is stand up comic Sarah Hylander. We talk about auditioning for Saturday Night Live and living on Doug Benson's couch. She's fucking funny. Does great characters too.