OBSRVTNS: January 26th, 2016

It was AVN week in Las Vegas, but I wasn't there for AVN, I was there to do standup at Oddfellows in Downtown.  It was a good show, I killed it in a strange confluence of all the right and wrong things.  I still haven't figured the appropriate Bloody Mary to coffee ratio when adrenaline is mixed in to the whole thing.  I got to the venue and found out I had twice as much time as I had material for...I mean I always have more material, but I tend to be meticulous and rehearse a lot.  I was thrown but it turned out for the best, I went into a few different stream of consciousness rants that somehow, the audience was receptive too.  It was a good crowd, they were willing to be taken to some weird places.  I even had a few people come up afterwards to say they were surprised, but happily, that the material took an unexpected cerebral turn.  It was good stuff.

I got see Anna B. Volk and Christian Madsen in from Brazil, two occasional trade reporters that have been on the ride along with me throughout my career.  It was interesting to sit outside the AVN convention and remark at how much has changed within the industry in the last four years.  As much as there is new stuff happening, it does feel that a certain element has kind of left the building so to speak.  I think when I came into the industry, there was a palpable feeling that within it, there was almost a kind of movement, a set of people working to make things that weren't just about titillation but about disrupting a narrative.  I think there were those of us in that moment that felt a kind of political alignment.   To borrow from my friend Desi Jed....My pussy was WOKE af.  It does feel like that contingent has dispersed though, and it makes me a little sad.

But change is constant and I'm interested to see where the industry is headed from here as it navigates new obstacles and adapts to the changing relationship the culture has to sex.  I guess AVN feels like an artifact now, a symbol of the way we used to consume our porn and our pornstars, the way we used to business, the relationships that used to exist between performers, companies and fans.  I don't have any predictions about the future.  I don't think the AVNs are going anywhere, just like the Oscars aren't going anywhere, though increasingly the awards seem less and less relevant in a world where Sean Baker is making Tangerine on an iPhone with no name talent and captivating audiences everywhere and cam girls are making the kinds of income that used to by the exclusive demesne of contract girls and superstars.

I would have attended the actual awards, but I was booked to be in a music video back her in L.A. for Ryan Casatta, a folk rock up and comer who's doing all the things and working on a dream.  He wrote a song Bedroom Eyes that called for a "gorgeous girl" who gets jilted by a playboy.  I think I was a natural for the part.  Duh.  Ryan has won a ton of awards and a spot on the warped tour when he was like 18 years old and stuff.  The video was directed by Melanie Vesey and I was so impressed with her visual sense.  She took a great portrait of me in between takes that I loved and hated because I don't look perfect in it, but I look like me, so there you go.

Arden Leigh!

This week on OBSERVATIONS w/Sovereign Syre (DOWNLOAD, subscribe, rate!) is part two of my interview with Seduction Coach Arden Leigh.  In part one of the interview Arden told us about her rise from 22 year old virgin to top Pro Domme in the most profitable House in Manhattan, to scandal and being outed as a sex worker in a full page story in the New York Post.  In this half of the interview, Arden talks about going from despair, to writing (and publishing) her first book at 25, and becoming a sex and seduction coach...and how that doesn't come with a perfect track record in her own love life.  I love her.  I love you guys.






Hardcore Comedy

OBSRVTNS: January 19th, 2016


It was a rough week, full of ups and downs.  It's awards season in porn, and it's usually the time of year that I reflect on my porn career, regardless of what's going on I can always remember what was going on my life at the time of each AVN convention I've attended.

The first convention was in January of 2012.  I was a burgeoning starlet, the face of a new company called Girl Candy.  I'd been performing in arthouse lesbian movies for a few months and had recently made the permanent move to Los Angeles with my long time paramour and photographer Joshua Darling.  I was overwhelmed by all the glamour around me, the ballgowns, the huge rooms, the drinking and drugs, the orgies, the abandon and spectacle of it all.  I felt like a well-scrubbed rube in my six dollar discount store dress, but I sent selfies of me in front of billboard sized photos of myself to my friends back home.  The last time most of them had heard from me I was holed up in my childhood bedroom trying to kick a crippling drug habit.  Some had followed me on social media when I moved out to NYC, became an art model, then transitioned into the porn equivalent of an indie-darling adult performer.  I had some heat behind me as they say. Ill never forget watching the awards in the blue tinged light of the theater with the white haired southern owner of my company.  He turned to me with a thick southern drawl as a girl accepted an award for best cocksucker of 2011 and said "I feel like I'm in a God damned David Lynch movie."  He spent the rest of the convention buying me Red Bull and vodka cocktails and sneaking me cigarettes because "I quit."

This year I won't even be attending the convention, instead I'll be doing a stand up comedy show at Odd Fellows (January 21st 8 pm Odd Fellows in Las Vegas.  Get tickets here: Hardcore Comedy)...things have come a long way...one of the things I like most about life is that you never really know what's going to happen next.

Last week I was in NYC doing a stand up show at Headquarters.  I ended up doing a few open mics and connecting with Katy McVay, a stand up I really dig.  I got to experience different rooms and I have to say I never felt more welcome than in NYC.  I wouldn't recommend playing a strip club though, especially if you don't have a lot of material about sex.  The thing is that although I am an adult performer and I tend to use Sovereign Syre for all of my artistic pursuits, I don't really market myself as a porn star and I don't have any interest in writing about it whether in a novel or for a stand up routine.  It's going to be interesting trying to navigate that as I move forward in all my endeavors.

I've been enjoying doing stand up though, if nothing else because it gives me a break from writing the graphic novel.  Which is going to be done with it's first draft at the end of the month.  It seems like a lot of work, but I find that work breeds more work.  The more productive I become in one area, the more productive I become in others.  I've also started trying to read two to three books per week to get through my backlog.  It's become easy.


This week's guest on OBSERVATIONS with Sovereign Syre is Arden Leigh.  Arden is a seduction coach, which is interesting enough, but she has an incredible backstory that she shares with me in this two part interview that takes her from naive virgin, to head dominatrix, to public scandal in the NY Post, to published author and self made business woman.  You won't want to miss her story.  What an incredible woman.